Updated: Nov 6, 2019
Over the last several months, I've done a lot of soul searching and learned that failures are a part of life. It‘s normal to fail, it‘s ok not to obtain everything you want in life immediately. Sometimes it‘s out of your control, but don‘t let that stop you from getting in the way of your dreams. Sometimes failure is a good thing. It can make you realize that things weren't really realistic in the first place. It lights a fire under you to accomplish more. Dealing with a loss of a loved one, a loss of a job or whatever the example, a loss can be a tragic event. It takes a strong will and character in order to move forward from such a sad event. However, I've learned it‘s how resilient you are that will determine the type of person you are, especially in these type of events. It's how fast you bounce back that shows how determined you are as an individual in order to move past harsh issues.
Sometimes God throws us events in our life that are way beyond our control. It’s just a part of life. When my grandmother passed a few years ago, it was the saddest thing that ever occurred in my life. She was one of the closest people in my life growing up. I shared a very special bond with her. She raised me when I was young and even when she moved to Florida, I always saw her often, and always communicated with her. She truly owned a piece of my heart. She never judged me and always showed me love and affection. When she passed, I was in slight depression. I felt sadness and didn't want to remember the good times I had with her for a a long time. I wished she was still with us and wished I did more with her to show her that I appreciated her. It has been nearly 3 years since her passing, and I still think of her everyday. I pray for her daily and think about her beautiful smiling face all the time. I have learned from family members to cherish the moments I've had with her and remember how very lucky I was to have her in my life. I've used that regret into not making the same mistake again. It‘s the reason I'm making an extra effort now and trying to build a closer relationship with my grandfather in Florida and my other grandmother.
Death is something that is uncontrollable. There are areas in our lives where an obstacle(s) can occur that are controllable. For example, a work situation, a personal relationship, weight issues, and being a bitter person. These are all things that you may think are an obstacle in your life. However, you can take steps in order to fix or improve these areas. If you don't like a certain work situation, come up with a plan to fix it. If you‘re having an issue with a spouse or loved one, talk about it, come up with a plan to see what you can do to improve the situation. If you are overweight, try to eat healthier or enroll at a gym.
Recently, I did an assessment of my life and found I was letting a lot of things slide where I had control of. I looked outside of my bubble(comfort zone) and realized there were many areas of my life that needed improvement. That included my personality, my image, bad habits I've formed, goals I had in my mind, and dreams that I wanted to accomplish but I never put into action. I realistically had to come up with a plan to target these areas and I have already seen great improvements vastly. I have increased my confidence to the point where I don’t feel much fear, my attitude is way more positive now, and I feel I'm more likable due to the charming videos and readings I have been doing. It’s even the very small things about me that are changing that I'm noticing. I have bitten my nails for 32 years. I finally grew them and they are looking nice. I decided one morning that this was a nasty dirty habit that I needed to change and I finally came up with a plan and a goal to stop biting my nails. It took change, it took determination, and now I have beautiful, full nails for the rest of my life.
In order to succeed in life, you have to go through failure. It‘s the only way to get ahead. It's that simple. The only thing to be mindful of is to fail at the right kind of things. Whether its a failed relationship, a bad career choice, or an unsuccessful attempt at greatness, it‘s just something you need to experience in order to succeed. As long as you’re not failing multiple times in the same area then you will progress. I will be the first to admit, that I have failed in past relationships with the opposite sex. I have been in love more than once, and had no regrets. It made me the person who I am today. and made me realize it was not always my fault in the failure in the relationship. You will never appreciate a meaningful relationship the way you ought to appreciate it, until you manage to mess up a great one. It takes effort by both parties, and if one is not willing to compromise and make the effort it‘a just a matter of time before it falls apart. Look at me being a love doctor. My best advice is to let out your frustrations. Once you clear your head and you have calmed yourself from overwhelming emotions that can take over, slowly focus back to the issue at hand. Be brutally honest. This is the step most people don't do. It‘s easy to turn on the TV, pull out your phone, or find some form of distraction. Most people will do anything to avoid confronting their own self with mistakes they've made. As long as we fail forward, we can learn from our setbacks and make the necessary adjustments we need to success.
Every change we make, every person we meet, and every bit of information we absorb is coming together so we can create a different outcome. We can‘t stop obstacles from appearing in life, but we can choose how to handle them. They may block our vision temporarily, but if we persevered then we can discover opportunities that have always been waiting for us on the other side. As we get more efficient with this process, we enable ourselves to see the positive side in even the toughest of situations. I truly hope that I was able to shed some light on this topic and help you guys in any obstacles in your way. I wish nothing but the best for you and hope you learn from your failures in every way. Signing off, Blog #3 , truly yours, Im aka Deucey